Long nights filled with the most obvious reasons.

Ugh, today again. I've checked but never got to know who actually uses it to come here. Every single day, without fail. It kinda scares me, kinda freaks me. I dunno why, but I have a feeling that its someone not so friendly. Wellllllll, then, I better watch what I say.

TGIF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes I'm really thankful that the weekend's ahead. But on the other hand the weekend would be gone in a flash. See, its 12plus now and its a Saturday! Boo I hate it when my favourite moments passes so fast.

Had mood swings during training tday. At this point of time I really felt like crying during the pair drills. I dunno why but I suddenly feel so useless, doing the same drill at least 10 times just to get it right, the feeling of 'WHY THE FUCK CANT I GET THE BALL?' Yeah, that feeling. Then during downcourt after scoldings I felt at least a lil motivated to run faster so they cant say that I'm not running. But overall training tday was a toughie for me, a bad day.

Ah I'm suppose to be out but instead I'm stuck at home blogging. Hurr. Anthony and all gave me a shock luh, thought they're like dead. On the other hand Karl's at Mos mixing her own death potion. Haha she's not replying so she's gona collaspe soon haha. Crazy.

My eyes are closing on me again! Ugh I need to head for my bed soon. Hehe maybe I'll go out tmr, yay! I need to go out I cant be stuck at home all day, I'll die of boredom syndrome haha.

If you want again to take my hand, you'll see
That we could be one like how we use to be :)

Tell me am I right to say that we could be nothing better.

Feels good to shut the door, act emo (or rather angry) and come online. Haha now do I get some privacy to do some typing cos my itchy fingers cant resist.

What an accomplishment this week! Its Thursday and I'm still going to school, yay! Cos usually in a week I dont go to school for at least one day, so this week's the first that I attend all five days! :) Would not have gone to school tmr, but swim PE was cancelled so I think I'll be going school. Haha.

So this week's the starting of proper school, when everyone starts settling down and I'm already pretty used to the schooling life. I'm glad that our class keeps quiet during lessons and we actually DO pay attention, just that there will be occasional outburst of someone laughing due to whoever's joke of the day. Tsk we do need a break after all. Then during breaks everyone just go crazy. Nyaha fun fun. :) All I gotta improve on is to try and stay more awake and not to be so moody. I need to last.

Chinese was a torture today. Four periods straight, I almost died. The feeling of being so tired but you just cant close your eyes, its horrible enough. Plus pretending to have the mood to be interested and taking down notes every now and then, I just wanted to roll flat on the floor and die. Missed Math lecture in the afternoon, but we were doing Chem at the void deck k! Hur everyone was like shocked. Haha not surprising cos I myself was shocked too. Lol. Reena's mum fetched us to town later and me and Cel got hp socks! =) So cute then we headed home.

I was supposed to use the com in the evening to prevent myself from sleeping but in the end I gave into temptation. Yeah whats new right. I'm starting to feel sleepy again. *yawns*

To update a bit on Netball, everyone now has to do full taping plus using coach's new method on tying shoelaces and wearing high socks! :l We do feel compact but the thing is, hmm. I forgot what I wanted to say but anyhow! I just dont like the feeling, gotta get used to it. Normal drills plus a few centre passes here there, I gotta work on learning how to run down the court plus controlling my passes, really bad. ): Gotta start working hard for season! I need my motivation..

Okay I think I need to blog this down right? Though its a lil later due but its till not too late I guess!

KIMBERLY HAS NEVER EATEN A WATERMELON BEFORE, INCLUDING STRAWBERRIES.

Haha alright man $5 alliance! ;) Lol the night at Nydc after Friday's training was the ultimate, gobbling down 3 cakes after a main course wasn't a joke, but we could have ordered more if not for the limited budget. I shall steal the convo Kim created since Cel has used it too. Hehe.

(bill came)
celeste: (eyes super wide)
me: (looks at celeste and my eyes went suepr wide too) how much?
jiazhi: eh how much!
celeste: err 106
all: (EYES SUPER WIDE)
jiazhi: (looks at her hand. 70plusbucks. turns to me) eh you pay already?
me: yeahhhh
jiazhi: (eyes went even bigger) celeste?
celeste: (took out 25bucks)
jiazhi: (counting.) should be enough lah. 99. eh wait wait. i count again. 101.
all: ...........
jiazhi: coins or anything?
me: i got twenty cents more
celeste: i got zero
all: HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
celeste: how ah how ah
me: wash plates lor
celeste: seriously
me: HAHAHAHHAHA. (calls huishian)
me: theyre coming to rescue us

Haha after reading this strip the obvious was that we didnt have enough money to pay up after dining supposedly to celebrate Yini's bday. But in the end we ate more cakes than her and she had to pay for her share of cake, haha damn funny. What a night. :) then later cabbed home with Cel and Mandeep, I still can rmb the look on Mandeep's face when he was talking to the taxidriver, priceless I tell you. Haha.

OHOHOH. Ya'll gotta hear this man. Sucha ridiculous reasons to get scolded. Cel and I had to see Ms Aisha because why? She received complains about two girls, one cutting her nails (Cel) and the other painting her nails (me) during lesson time. LIKE WHAT THE PONG, WHAT THE PING PONG PIA!! (What a great time to use it) Seriously they even pick on minor issues. Hmmm.

Actions speak louder than words, so before you write smthg out, please make it seem as if you care before making it sound bad cos you're the right thats suffering, like I'm not.

It really sucks when everytime I post smthg lots of questions will be raised on whatever issue they think it is.
It really sucks when you find out things so slowly, to dig up the past cos its painful when you learn the truth.
It really sucks when you just realise that that it all has a pattern, someone using smthg to get close to the person, using smthg which I wont mention cos then I'll prolly never find out who the person is. The best? I dont even know the person, but I'll find out who. I'll try.

So maybe the best is not to vent it out here.

Why does this always, ALWAYS happen. When all I have now is a gut feeling that smthg will go wrong.

I hate living in denial, where I smile all day but feel nothing.

Why do you always do this to me.

Cos this is my entry screaming for you.

Training ytd was quite pathetic with the 10 of us J1s. Haha J2s having terms so it was just us juniors. Had to prepare much more cos some ppl on duty weren't around so it was moving around pretty much before training. then I've made a pact to run with Cel for 2.4k but coach came on time! Grr so had to run normally but I wasnt even mentally prepared at all so timing deproved. Hah did weights, the pair ball drills lasted longer than usual. Cos coach was focusing more on us, more on accuracy of passes. Not tired what, just keep redoing lol. Did some simple downcourt then sprinting! Now I think sprinting one round is bad. Tsk. Yay at least now I cld feel that the J1s are more bonded tgt so its good. =) We're gona be on our own again on Wednesday's training.

Today = not going school at all. Hah firstly, our first lecture only starts at 1110am but by that time we were too lazy to go. Then one by one time passed then we missed all our lectures. Lol what a great day. It was just void deck, cafe, void deck, cafe. Hurr eating non stop. Then after went to island creamery with Cel and Ethel. Yummaye cookies and cream with milo powder. Teehee =D Then headed home, as usual I was sleeping on the bus and this time I really banged my head loud on the window. FREAKING EMBARRASSING! Maybe the whole bus was staring at me. Sigh habits I can never change.

And also today, Edmund and I made a bet.
5 lollipops = 1 kinder bueno!
=D



I need something else
would someone please just give me?
Hit me and knock me out
And let me go back to sleep
I can laugh all I want inside
I still am empty
So deep that it didn’t even bleed and catch me.



Babe hope you're okay, cos when I wasnt you were. so now I'm not, you shldnt be. Heh see how it goes this weekend first k? I'll always be here for you :)

So who's gona be there for me?

Sigh minds are so fickle that I dont even know whats going on now. Isit still the same, or did ur fickle mind pick another person. I seriously dunno. Why do I always chance upon it at the wrong time, always too late to do anything but to regret. What if I've said smthg, what if I've showed more care, what if I knew what was happening all along. What if I cld read ur mind, what if I could know how u feel. What if I cld turn back time, wld I still do the same? So many what ifs. Do u still feel the same, do I. If u ever mean what u've said, then why shd u be complaining. Thats the part where I simply just dont get. I blame myself and u blame urself, but do we ever settle it? I can never get over it can u? Do u know how exactly I feel do u? Finally I know.

Unless its not me, then I'll understand.

bb.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh myyyyyyyyyyyy.

What a long day ytd.

Firstly when I woke up in the afternoon I wasnt in the best of mood. Changed and went to Raffles City. Um yeah to talk and stuff. Things still didnt change much though. Ayeee. Then later met Cel at the mrt station and it was off to Kevin's hse. Central Meadows I still rmb hehe. 1SA7's last barbecue tgt ): I'll really really miss the whole bunch of them. CelAmandaEthelGenAudMichelleRochelleStephDawnXiaoHuiJessie.
ShawnKevinAdamJohnJonaJecoEdmundAnt.
Haha thats all I can rmb. Then the guys keep pushing us into the pool, kicking chicken wings all over the floor, aiming the bones at the hses downstairs, it was quite funny. Lol then most of them left while we headed off to eat frog leg porridge. Gross but oh wells. Hah then we left to Dxo. CelAmandaKevinAntShaun. :) Didnt wna go in at first but did in the end. We finished 4 towers! Whoo. Cranberry vodka, redbull vodka, lime vodka and ribena vodka. :D Shiokkk man. Played a few retarded games outside, I NEVER! Tsktsk. Then Karl came down to join us, she was red also la. Haha left to Arab street, went to this place to shisha and eat chocolate vondue. =) I was the only one eating it la. The shisha sucked haha. Chill, talked about alot of things. Lol Karl the gossip buddy. Tsk then left, went to Newton to eat! Reached home at like 530am ._. Karl still wna walk the ECP, siao, and can badmouth me to her friend right in front of me in the cab! Haha.

Today today, woke up at 3pm! Not really a good day. Woke up with a lil hangover. Hah watched tv then went out to eat. I want agadeshi (however you spell) tofu ): Everywhere was like closed la. Heh a lil depressed I'm telling you.

Aight, school's starting again tmr ): Dang lecture week then real school starts. Got lots to catch ip on, hope our class's gona be fine. Training training! Only the J1s cos J2's are having terms. Lets go ppl! :)

As we lay, we lay tgt just not.

Ugh I cant go online! >:( Dunno what 316000314 code error shit. Sigh but I really really wna go online cos.. Heh. Aiya fingers to itchy to type on the keyborad cos I like the sound that it gives out everytime I type a letter. Haha. Random and weird facts about myself. Lol.

And I realise that I've been posting almost every single day. Yay its good cos I dont think I'll be able to do that after the March Hols. Probably during lecture week then its proper school!

Cel woke up earlier than me tday! Nyaha met up to eat YaKun before heading off to school. Went to see our posted classes, why is Shawn not in the same class as us! ): Saddening. But most of us are staying plus a few (actually to me quite alot) of new ppl, around say 6? Yeah then went to prepare for training. Yipee we can bring food for training! Bananas bananas and more bananas :D Retarded la then I bang myself in front of coach and the whole team. Damn haha. I'm pretty used to running 2.4k already, but its just that my timing always fluctuate around, few seconds here there, improve then deprove. Sad huh oh wells. More ppl were calling on court tday =) Thats a great sign. Heh AC NETBALL YEAH! :D :D

I feel like going to the zoo. Hehe but nobody wants to go with me ):
Class barbecue tmr?

Gotta make damn sure.

All you gotta know, is learn how to let go.


I dunno why but I still get the weird vibes whenever I see the same photo. Its the kinda cold-shiver-down-your-spine feel although the photo doesnt speak much. Lol okay who am I trying to kid. It does mean alot, but not now. Haha.

Training ytd was um, alright. Did 2.4k which almost killed me but at least now I'm trying to take training with a more positive attitude. Considering that season is starting in about one and a half month's time, there's really little of what we can do now but just put our minds into training and train really hard for the best outcome. Had friendly with IJ ytd, and I must say our juniors really improved hell lot! So proud of em. But the game goes to show how strong is our team, whether we were actually prepared enough to enter the season.. Sigh. Looks like we gotta work harder than usual. Not say that the team's not good or anything, but we always gotta train harder to be a class above the rest =) And I really believe all of us can do it, go go go! :)

Now all that my mind is filled up with is Netball and how to live my life in AC after the lecture week.
Haha and maybe smthg else.

Today was the laugh like crazy day. Lol went out with my grandma and bro today ._. Alright its definitely not smthg you'll see me do but I had to do it so oh wells. It wasnt too bad, I had Sakae :) Yummaye then it was off to Bugis to get some prayer thing from the temple. Zomg the freaking place was bloody crowded! Seriously worse then any crowded place that I've been too. Quite a turn off sight but still managed to enter then I quickly ran out. Haha. Went to town to meet Cel and Timhan for awhile, he left then biggie came for a while to join us. Avis came, Reena came. Viv left. Hah shites I'm like talking to myself. Lol yeah then Shuboobs plus Jwong came, Shawn plus Amanda joined us. Ate at ThaiExpress at Paragon and it was seriously damn noisy! Especially with Avis around.. Goodness she can just bang herself the whole day! Hahaha. Really damn funny. Plus the noodle man behind the glass.. Laugh non stop. Tsk its really quite good to laugh your ass out sometimes, all the happy things in me were all around me! Lol. But tonight was really fun, another outing sometime soon, steamboat plus tenpanyaki! =)

Aights, late training tmr. but that also means 2.4k again!
More bananas for training haha.



We can be more than that, I'm sure.

Cos here in my heart, there's a picture of us.

What a long shagged day and I'm finally home to use the computer and REST.

So, netball camp was indeed a blast. (: Really, much better than I thought it wld be. Banana games in the morning, operation 6928855 and the telematch was awesome! :D Ordering pizza, Macs cos we thought there wasnt enough food, going out to eat Fish&Co allowed us to bond tgt more as a team. Yeah so somehow the target was kinda acheived. Lack of sleep, shld have heard how Shuboobs whined like anything when the lights were on, I cldnt believe my ears. Lol and Amanda had to wear a beanie to sleep! Goodness what weird habits. Tsk most of us slept at about 3am in the morning, talking and eating the leftover pizzas and a huge paperbag of fries! Nyaha. Training however seemed so strenuous and tiring. 2.4k, OH YES I LOVE IT! I'll be running for the whole week anyway. Drills, game, surprisingly no sprints. Hmmm. Had a team debrief, coach didnt seem too satisfied with the amount of effort that we're putting in now. Nvm we'll train harder, we all have a common goal and we'll acheive it :)

Left school at bout 12pm and went to Suntec for lunch. Fish&Co + Yami yogurt! Mm mmm. :D But we were like-a bursting. Haha then we went to search for our jersey, pretttyy! Just that our shirt will always fly up high whenever we jump. Its not good by the way. Lol gotta do smthg bout it! Walked around then headed home. Unpacked a lil here there, and now posting about the camp before I head to bed soon! I'll turn in early today, actually really early. Its only 930pm! Haha okay maybe later.

Throughout this whole camp, I've learnt that this team is really quite unique. :)
Quote: There is always sunshine after the rain! =)
The comments given by other players really helped alot, especially the negative comments that spurs me to try harder as an individual. Mostly I got was to be more positive during training haha. Cos I think I'm the Complain Queen before training. Lol motivating seniors to push us through the whole season, great players who come tgt to form this team. All the more are we determined to win and do ourselves and coach proud. Push, push, push. Focus, focus, focus.

Yikes, at the thought of it, we've got training tmr again! I'm still having muscle ache from today and ytd. ):


Hey girl, hope you'll chance upon this :)
Please cheer up alrights! Dont worry your loss is my loss too, cos well.. You know. So pls dont think about it and dont let it affect you anymore k? Its not worth it, isnt that what you told me? Now I'm telling it back to you, ITS NOT WORTH IT. If someone treats you unfairly, all the more you shldnt care and give a damn about how she feels. Just rmb, you're not in this alone! We're tgt, we never understand fickle minds. Study hard, I'll talk to you soon again :)

Even the wrong word seems to rhyme.

Suddenly, I just dunno how to begin with today's post. Hah was thinking of so many ways then now, I cant think of any. Lol.

What a fufilling dinner ytd. Yeah, literally eat till you drop at Sakura. Both my tummy plus money. Haha yay it rhymes :D Then it was just roaming around aimlessly. Hah and I
just kept punching everything in my way for a moment so my knuckles now are kinda painful haha. Ugh stupid pangsai! > :( Bite me until damn pain! Though the blueblack's not very obvious but the pain is all concentrated on one part! You die tmr during camp! More blueblacks coming up! Heheh.

Its almost twelve and I havent even start packing my bag for tmr's camp! Haha good luck mate. My eyes are on the verge of closing while chatting online, typing nonsense every now and then. Haha. Dang I need to pack and sleep soon! Later tmr cannot wake up then DIE. (haha sounds familiar?) And and and. My frweaking phone is kinda screwed. Like the memory card cant be read. jryudhrhgweiehowahruevthruhter. Cannot push into the damn slot. Mum's gona help me check it tmr and I hope i need not reformat the phone! ): I hate it I hate it. Now I'm using my sister's PINK PHONE plus another Samsung phone. Not use to it not use to it! (Gosh I'm sucha whiny brat)

I'm gona indulge in Kinder Bueno and seaweed now! Eat eat eat. what else can I do. Haha why am I so against myself today.


Day no. 1 : I'm gona do it!

There are some things I gotta let go.


Your Guardian Angel - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus


When I see your smile
tears roll down my face
I can't replace.

And now that I'm strong
I have figured out
how this world turns cold
and it breaks through my soul, and I know
I'll find deep inside me, I can be the one.

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all, even if saving you sends me to heaven.

It's ok

Seasons are changing and waves are crashing
and stars are falling all for us
days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one.

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever.
I'll be there for you through it all, even if saving you sends me to heaven.

Cause you're my
you're my, my
my true love
my whole heart
please don't throw that away.

Cause I'm here, for you
please don't walk away and
please tell me you'll stay, stay..

Use me as you will
pull my strings just for a thrill
and I know I'll be okay
though my skies are turning gray.

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
even if saving you sends me to heaven


Songs with lyrics that are ummm good. :)
Wonder what has gotten into me these days, posting up and listening to these kinda genres..


To think I said I cldnt pon orientation on both days, but I did it! Haha I had my reasons k. Firstly my mum thought I didnt have school and I didnt feel good on the second day so yeah, there you go. Heh didnt train ytd, my brain was taking a break. Hah from everything I guess. Bcos of THAT, I slept at like 4am. Migraine came so yeah, but I felt much better after that.

Sometimes you dont understand the issue, you're being so narrow minded that you only see what you want to see. To always think you're in the right, to always want to be in the right. Feel like crap whenever smthg doesnt go your way, to only hate bcos you cant voice out your thoughts. To think is this it? Is this what's gona happen next? Is this a spiteful act? All these run through your mind cos of lil insignificant actions that makes you think SO SO MUCH. Cos you dont wna look at it the other way round, always waiting for ppl to tell you before you realise that there's another possibility, but you just dont wna admit it. But after a while, you start to realise, realise that hey, things dont look the way like it seems too, (although im still not sure haha) but at least I look at more options to the problems now. Cos when 6 ppl tell you the one same thing (thanks P!) over and over, you cant help but ponder why would they say the exact same thing? Why would they ask you to get a life now or never, to be stuck or to move on. Sorted it out for so long, its your choice. Your choice to stay, or your choice to get your ass out of the situation. You can never change that much, and being different doesnt always mean you're on the bad side. It just changes the impressions of how others look at you. (dont really care anyway) So hey, why does things look so bad for you?
Cos when you speak, everything said up there just magically disappears into the palms of your hands. Its back. All the driving facts into my head talks, the long hour talks just vanish into worthless conversations. All the dont think!, dont think! self talks are useless. Staying in bed the whole day, stoning for long hours, even crying are all deemed as meaningless. Why are you so weak, why do you always get yourself into this.
Congrats, you're back to square one.

P: how true.

With every loss, you find pain.

I hate healing processes.

Before the gold and glimmer have been replaced.




Everybody go, the party's over
I want to be alone in my head, in my bed tonight
You never show
You must really love her
You think I don't know but I do, yeah it's true
I think over is over
I'm right back where I started when it comes to wanting you
I can't have what I wanted

But I did, I can, I was, I am only human, living, dying
Just like any fool who ever breathed
If love is blind, if love's a drug, it always is, it always was
And love was surely made for fools like me

I know where I'm going
I'm tripping I'm sliding around
That's ok, at least I'm excited
It wasn't how I planned it, wasn't how I planned it
Feet are where I landed
At least I understand it now
My feet are where I landed
Feet are staying on the ground

But I did, I can, I was, I am only human, living, dying
Just like any fool who ever breathed
If love is blind, if love's a drug, it always is, it always was
And love was surely made for fools like me
Fools like me, fools like me

I did, I can, I was, I am only human, living, dying
Just like any fool who ever breathed
Maybe it's the sanest thing
Or just the sweetest kind of dream
But love was surely made for fools
Love was surely made for fools, love was surely made for fools
Love was surely made for fools, love was surely made for fools like me


What a pretty song, real pretty and real true. You go and hear it. Love it.

JAE results postings. Unexpected for some ppl eh? Some who didnt make it back into AC, some who didnt want to go Ac but somehow or rather made their way in.. Hmm. I really have idea to how they do all these posting.. And guess I never will too. Haha. I'm just glad that I dont need to go through all the hassle, but on the other hand, I'm stuck.

Junior's finals yesterday. Cldnt go down to watch although we wanted too badly. But I had live reports from Germaine every nbow and then. :D Lol C div won, but B div lost! Damn heard bout the injuries of both Shona and Steph, poor girls! ): I feel for them, all the pushing and not so clean play, how can players resort to these kinda tactics. Sigh but hey juniors! Hope ya'll wont give up at this point of time but work harder cos this is just the zonal finals! There's always the nationals and by then I believe that you guys can do it! All the way girls! :)

Okay then training coach didnt come. Haha but we still ended at bout 830pm. Plus we did 3 suicides. I hate suicides! I'd rather do rounds. Really, so much more less tiring. About 2 more months and everything's gona be over OVER! Cant wait for the netball camp though. ;)

Yesterday would be the day if nothing was wrong. BUT there's always something to spoil the mood. :l

Tryouts this weekend!




Thank you for this moment
I've gotta say how beautiful you are
Of all the hopes and dreams I could've prayed for
There you are
If I could have one dance forever
I would take you by the hand
Tonight it's you and I together
I'm so glad, I'm your man

And if I lived a thousand years
You know, I never could explain
The way I lost my heart to you
That day.
But if destiny decided
I should look the other way
Then the world would never know
The greatest story ever told
And did I tell you that I love you tonight?

I don't hear the music
When I'm looking in your eyes
But I feel the rhythm of your body
Close to mine.
Its the way we touch that sends me
Its a way we'll always be
Your kiss, your pretty smile you know I'd die for
Oh baby, you're all I need.

And if I lived a thousand years
You know, I never could explain
The way I lost my heart to you
That day.
But if destiny decided
I should look the other way
Then the world would never know
The greatest story ever told
And did I tell you that I love you,
Just how much I really need you
Did I tell you that I love you tonight?

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

It feels kinda good when you've realeased a part of yourself. Not literally but temporarily. Candice's talks are the funniest. Lol.

Fang! Gerry!
I miss you both so so much. ):

When I say it, I mean it. =)

Lazy to upload photos, will update soon!

You're the song that writes a story;
But leaves alot to read.

Didnt go for AC's founder's day tday.. Heh. Didnt feel too good in the morning so I gave it a miss. Woke up super late cos the weather was the perfect one to sleep in. Shiok luh. Dont wna go anywhere tday, figured I shld just stay at home to... I dunno. Lol look around cos I havent been staying put at home for a very long time. Nvm at least I have Fang to talk too (: Hehe she makes me happy. Lame jokes, consoling words and just even herself makes me smile =) Not forgetting the others who managed to keep me on the go, you know who you all are. *hugs*

Just to add it in so I'll remember this day forever, this Tuesday has been labelled as the worse day of my life. Literally, for no good and all the bad. Felt so mentally and emotionally drained. But yknow, after you've cried everything out, it seems to have been a lil better.

I'm not gona waste anymore money calling you. To call and solve this, but it always gets worse. I bet you're happy at the situation now, but it doesnt mean anything, not like I'm gona go back. sorry but its just not the same anymore.

Thanks biggie for being there for me, love you! =D

I'm sucha dumb goner, am I. Yknow when I start realising that every piece of puzzle seems to fall apart. Keeping quiet till everything starts pouring onto me. Bullshit, bullshit, BULLSHIT. To feel so cheated inside, yet to show nothing on the outside. To be so hurt deep beneath, but yet pretend as if nothing has happened. To try and face the truth, but yet trying my best to avoid. To try not to love anymore, but yet I do more and more. It just doesnt make sense, does it? So much left unsaid, and as everything unfolds, the more I hate you for not telling me. Hate? Until the moment I see you.

Yeh.bitches of the world unite in front of me.